humor, random

What to do with your dead body for your inevitable demise


Yes, eventually I will keel over. This awesomeness cannot persist forever. Unless we really advance in AI and robot bodies… then sure transplant my mind into a robot body. I’d be cool with that.

I guess wills are a good idea. Blah blah blah. You get what is mine if I die. I get what is yours. Easy peasy sandwich cheesy. We have no kids and such. So I just have a cheap will kit. Bam it will be done.

What to do with your dead body

But then there is a sectioned on disposal of the BODY. Intriguing. Morose. But intriguing.

Ways to deal with THE BODY

  1. You can get buried with a headstone. Put something fun on there though or what is even the point of a headstone? If I go this route, it shall say “I know the answer to the afterlife and you don’t. Neener, neener, neener’. Or some poetic quote.
  2. Or, as my spouse wants, to be buried in an unmarked grave. I’m thinking the backyard. I may have to steal is body from the morgue to pull this one off. But it will be done.
  3. Cremation. This one has its appeal as long as you do not keep the ashes in your house because that is how you make ghosts. So you must release them into the world as per the will. I hear, Disneyland is quite popular for this but that would be a nightmare for my ghost. So I am thinking I nice mountaintop. How they get up there isn’t any of my business because I’ll be dead.
  4. Taxidermy. Now it occured to me my spouse would miss me so taxidermy seems the best solution. I will always be around. Just stick a diet coke in my hand and have a recording of my laugh playing and it will be like I never left. If people say that is morose he can just say it was in the WILL I HAD to do it.
  5. Just let your significant other keep the skull of your body. So they can talk to it dramatically or quote shakespeare at it. Or for ritual stuff. Whatevs.
  6. Some people put ashes into necklaces and such as a reminded. I think that is cool. But how about like an etsy shop of all your ashes into necklaces and jewelry? Then your ghost can jump around to a bunch of places to haunt! Way cooler.
  7. Save your skeleton for your significant other to use for Halloween. You know how they love authentic Halloween decorations! It is the gift that keeps on giving.
  8. You could have your body cryogenically frozen. Or just your head. It can be costly for your relatives. Or just have your body dumped on the top of Mount Everest since it also preserves bodies. So… if you want to be a popsicle for future generations that is the way to go.
  9. Upload your brain into the most advanced AI computer before you die and then who even cares what they do with the husk. You can tell them yourself if you feel like it. If they happen to have you turned on. They may not actually like you, so you may be left off for a century or two.
  10. Leave a detailed in depth account of what to do with your corpse in your will only to have our wishes completely ignored forcing you to haunt your entire family persistently for the rest of their lives. Mostly by moving their car keys every time they are looking for them.

So lots of ideas for your body! Have some fun with it. You only die once! Unless you’re a zombie or a vampire.

See other random posts

Things you fear
Introvert fears
10 best Halloween Movies

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