I have a problem. And that problem is being disabled. I mean, inherently when you have a chronic illness that disables you it sucks. And it is an unsolvable problem… just one you can improve sometimes via 8000.456 methods you have to try. It is not the problem I am talking about. It is a fact. And one I share with a lot of people.
But that isn’t the main problem.
The main problem is that I have no financial stability due to being disabled. If you think about minimum wage being 15 bucks an hour as a living wage then consider disability income as an impossibly low can’t live on it wage. Which means I am financially dependent on others. It also means I have no money in my budget for anything at all. And no emergency fund at all. And no savings at all. And the debt from when I was too sick to work but it was an ‘unpaid’ leave of absence.
And that is my problem to deal with. Like we are trying to downsize our house. Or I may have to go bankrupt. Hard issues but the sort of things you have to think about with a disability. However, like all people I have goals and ambitions. I just have to pick and choose which are feasible for me to actually be capable of. And writing is one of the things that not only am I capable of but gives this life some meaning. And that is valuable as all hell.
I self-publish. And you can read those works. I have good reviews, which is cool. What I never had and cannot afford is an editor or book cover designer. And One thing I know is that I need both. I am hesitant to publish my new series without having the existing ones properly edited. Because I loathe that my existing series and works are not properly edited. And I have to say with brain fog being an issue i could never edit them perfectly myself even if authors could mentally put that distance from their work to actually do so.
And the problem then is…
But I have no money for an editor. No money for a cover designer. It feels like a rock and a hard place. Yes, I could publish again but it wouldn’t be the Quality I want and need to actually sell more. And selling more would provide some necessary extra income. But I can’t do that because you can’t get blood from a stone.
This isn’t a sob story. It isn’t even a unique story. With disabilities it is hard to get by and do the things you want to do at the best of times. It is just the way it is. We all have problems and this is mine. But it impedes my ability to put out the best works I can. Which sucks. And this is a problem for me. I have no solution.
The only thing I can think of is setting up a Patreon account in hopes someone will help me achieve my goal of editing my existing published works and my new works of fiction. It is designed for artists and writers to get people to fund and support them in their work. And if it works… then hopefully work on the cover designs as well. It is a slim hope at best. I wouldn’t know how to stand out in a crowd of other artists and writers on that site to establish the sort of income I would need to achieve my goals. But I have no other way of actually accomplishing this. So it can’t hurt, eh?
I feel at a disadvantage because of it. Disability just makes it inherently harder to achieve any goal especially if any money is in that equation. You get used to just not needing things. And waiting for birthdays or Christmas to get books or clothes. But when you are a writer and want to make money at it you need things you cannot afford to get. And never will be able to afford to get unless your health improves enough to be able to re-enter the workforce. So I have a dream. And that dream is that I can get all these books edited one way or another. And it is a good dream and an awesome goal. So maybe I will try a Patreon account.