Diagonally parked in parallel universe
blogging, humor, The life, Writing

Blogtober: Life goals


I have a lot of goals. Small ones. Massive overpowering world domination ones. So here are some of my goals. I am sure some of them you could add to your list because they are awesome goals to have.

Blogtober: Life goals

  1. Live long enough to have a robot servant but not long enough for when they take over the world
  2. Live long enough to know aliens exist but not long enough for them to make us their extra crispy, tastes like chicken, snacks.
  3. Make enough money writing to live on. I mean I make a lot of pennies. So many pennies. But I want to survive on writing.
  4. Have more warm fuzzies. And less cold pricklies
  5. Live long enough to have self-driving cars commonplace. I can’t drive due to vertigo. And it is a bitch. I want me a self-driving vehicle. Also, I am lazy and feel like being driven around while I take a power nap or read.
  6. Win the lottery. But not when I am 101 because that would be a real drag. Like now. That would be good. Yeah, now.
  7. Become a cat hoarder. Just kidding. 3 furballs are quite enough. We are outnumbered and they know it.
  8. To not overdose on caffeine but also have enough caffeine to stay upright.
  9. To not die in an aggressive tickle fight. I think it would be inappropriate to die laughing my ass off.
  10. To not die wearing my ugly underwear. But also not wearing like really sexy underwear, I feel that would be creepy on a corpse.
  11. World dominance. I will be a benevolent dictator, I swear. Mandatory nap times. Four day work weeks. Medication for everyone, even if they don’t need it.
  12. Create the gift of immortality… but also then ban babies… because immortality plus babies mean massively massive overpopulation. But let’s face it, in the future we won’t even make babies. Machines will. Specifically, our robot masters.
  13. To travel to another Earth-like world after we have completely trashed this one.
  14. Become a book hoarder. And I see nothing wrong with this until a large stack of books topples over on me and I die. But while I am dying I will have something to read.
  15. Aggressively pet my cats every day. Hug them and kiss them and call the George.
  16. Enhance my humour until I will have everyone pee a little from laughing so hard at my wit. I am sure to achieve this when we are all in our 90’s. I’ll likely pee a little at my own jokes. And I have a massive sense of humour… that is a lot of peeing a little.

Other Blogtober posts:

Blogtober prompt: a bowl of souls

Blogtober: Thursday teaser

Blogtober: The fine art of blogging

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2 thoughts on “Blogtober: Life goals”

  1. Hahah these are brilliant! Here’s to more warm fuzzies, sexy corpse lingerie, writing to earn a living (I’d like that too but not a clue how I’d ever make it happen), winning the lotto (will have to start actually buying a ticket) and dying laughing your ass off (because I actually think that’s the best way to go!) x

    Like

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